guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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