Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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