At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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