You can't motorboat a personality
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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