her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
