Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
