it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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