You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
