We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
