"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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