We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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