i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
