Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize