Moan for me like Helen Keller
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How does it feel to date your dad?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
