Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
