you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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