a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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