I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize