It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
