I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
