It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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