Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
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