Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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