i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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