He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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