i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
