Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
