idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
