What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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