You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
