Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
