yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
