Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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