this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
