I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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