that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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