I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
