so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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