sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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