Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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