we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.