I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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