I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
