That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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