walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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