The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
