I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
