Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
