Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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