Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
