Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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