You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
