well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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