Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
