she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
