Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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