stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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