Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
