Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
