im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
