i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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